Reader, I am in a very bad way...
I've never felt so much pain and I wish I were dreaming. Because even the worst nightmares end when you wake up. I fear I'll be feeling this pain forever.
In November of 2008, I made the biggest mistake of my entire life. I betrayed the trust and wounded the heart of the most important person in the world to me. I hate myself...and I will continue to hate myself until the day I die.
All he ever did was love me...and I spat in his face. Now, almost 7 months later, it's finally come to this.
We tried to work it out. He was too hurt I think...I ruined the best thing that's ever happened to me and I cant take it back. I have so much anger towards myself and this other person. I wish I never knew of his existence.
To this day I cant tell you why...I know I was a little confused and uncertain about our relationship. And its no excuse...I know. I just wish I hadn't been so naive...and stupid.
I just want to talk to him and tell him I'm sorry. But he's heard it all before...and he's made up his mind.
Reader, how could I have done this to us? He's the only one...the only one I've ever wanted to spend eternity with...there will never be another.
I can't write anymore...I can't even see straight...
If you see him...tell him I will always love him...
Brittany
1 comment:
*hug*
If it had been meant to be, you would have gotten through this. You will find another. Don't give up.
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